Dealing with grief

[playworth]

I thought each agency had it's own peer support or chaplain

who the chaplain for WA Radio Scanner Users' Group Forum

[Ambul8]

Not to mention the fact that I do not really know most of the people that I treat and I can claim an emotional separation from them.

a few weeks ago or maybe a few months ago, some poor copper arrived at a crash scene and it was his teenage son that was dead

yeah it sucks big time, i've put a good mate in a body bag. but like i said, i can claim emotional separation from most people.

[

Absolutely, I obtain my best peer support from the person/s who were there with me. sometimes its a laugh and a joke, sometimes a sob, sometimes head for a boxing bag, but I find that I can really only talk about details of something distressing with someone I know has been there. When I get home and seem distant and my mates try and 'help' I just don't get into it, as they have zero credibility, as none of them know what it is like as a third party. Sure everyone has had a friend/relative die, but being someone who is there to help, and can't because it is too late is different. There is nothing quite like the initial realization of the family, when you say "I'm sorry but there was noting we can do.....", that this is a final moment of their loved one. Some will blame you. Some will not. But unless you have been there as an ambo/copper/firey/etc, ie the third party there to save the life, its a completely different kettle of fish. And I certainly subscribe to the theory that no matter who you are, no matter how long you have been in the job, or how long you have volunteered for, things will effect you. It is proven in emergency services work that frequent incidents of grief and seeing 'bad things' compounds over time and many emergency services staff fall victim to PTSD!

So I guess what I am saying is for me, this works:
* Don't bottle it up, talk to someone who understands the context of what you do. NOT one copper/firey/ambo/etc is going to think any less of you, if you come asking for help. Every single one of us, will have, or will be going through what you are experiencing.
* Seek professional help if you think you need it, or for that matter someone quietly suggests that it may be an idea. All the services have Peer Support, a Chaplain, and confidential referral services to Psychologists.


I am well pleased that there is an element of respect for this thread, which stems from a genuine question. It would have been displeasing to see this thread turn into something bad or veer off topic, which has happened once or twice before. Its also good to see that there is no posting for 'numbers sake'. Thanks for the respect.

[gkoutlis]

Thanks guys - Alot of that is very useful stuff to keep in mind.

Nick - the answer to your question - yes St.Johns do have a Chaplain (not sure if its more than one - But his name is Don, and has been in SJA for a very very long time - having spoken to him recently, he is a top bloke.

But i am greatful to see the response to a general question - cheers guys and girls.