Police Transcripts
Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 1:03 pm
The following 15 Police Comments were taken from actual police car
videos around the country...
#15. "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
out after you wear them awhile."
#14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a
worthless document."
#13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know,
that¹s the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."
#11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can
write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
#10. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
#9. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again
or I'll give you another ticket."
#8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk
or not. Is Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
#7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."
#6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven."
#5. "No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now
we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
#4. "Just how big were those two beers?"
#3. "In God we trust, all others we run through CPIC/NCIC."
#2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of
yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
And . THE BEST ONE!
#1 "You didn't think we gave pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't -
Sign here
videos around the country...
#15. "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
out after you wear them awhile."
#14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a
worthless document."
#13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know,
that¹s the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."
#11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can
write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
#10. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
#9. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again
or I'll give you another ticket."
#8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk
or not. Is Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
#7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."
#6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven."
#5. "No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now
we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
#4. "Just how big were those two beers?"
#3. "In God we trust, all others we run through CPIC/NCIC."
#2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of
yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
And . THE BEST ONE!
#1 "You didn't think we gave pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't -
Sign here
