Dealing with grief

Post by **gkoutlis** » Wed Nov 28, 2007 8:18 am

I am starting this new post/topic on how Emergency Service Men & Women deal with sudden deaths/grief from a horrific incident, whether its a Fatal MVA or other.

Would like to perhaps find out from our fellow Emergency Service personel how they have dealt with grief etc, How long it took them to get over the incident and so on and so forth.

Any good ways of "staying strong" during a difficult time? - I've probably opened a can of worms, but would like to know what you think, from past experiences... would be good to learn from others.

Thanks in advance.

G

APCO 25 Encrypted · Post by **APCO 25 Encrypted** » Wed Nov 28, 2007 8:22 am

I see this ending with a padlock on the topic due to the nature of it.

Post by **gkoutlis** » Wed Nov 28, 2007 8:24 am

APCO 25 Encrypted wrote:I see this ending with a padlock on the topic due to the nature of it.

How come?

I was not asking for details into accidents - meerly asking for peoples past experiences on how to deal with certain incidents.

APCO 25 Encrypted · Post by **APCO 25 Encrypted** » Wed Nov 28, 2007 8:28 am

Because people will have strong opinions on whether or not this is an appropriate topic to discuss on a public forum without giving out some details as to what grief they went through and what were the circumstances that led up to it. Personally, i dont mind the topic.

I know you had a bad experience not long ago and may be having problems dealing with it, but i think you will gain more if you try and seek help from private sources NOT a public forum.

My 0.02 cents anyway

eswife · Post by **eswife** » Wed Nov 28, 2007 10:30 am

Mr G,

I used to find it really helps talking to people who understand the nature of your work, it effects everyone in different ways. I always found it hard to deal with deaths the same age I was at the time.

There is help out there if you ask for it. You can't save everyone

Ambul8 · Post by **Ambul8** » Wed Nov 28, 2007 10:34 am

Black HUmor works for me...

and an understanding that no matter what I do, no matter what interventions that I inittiate, or for that matter those that I don't, there are always going to be situations that are not nice.

Some people live, some people die, but I take consolation from the fact that I did my best.

Not to mention the fact that I do not really know most of the popel that I treat and I can claim an emotional separation from them.

Post by **gkoutlis** » Wed Nov 28, 2007 10:38 am

eswife wrote:Mr G,

I used to find it really helps talking to people who understand the nature of your work, it effects everyone in different ways. I always found it hard to deal with deaths the same age I was at the time.

There is help out there if you ask for it. You can't save everyone

Hi mate - thanks for writing - and I do understand - its just good to get a view on things...from others.

Post by **gkoutlis** » Wed Nov 28, 2007 10:38 am

Ambul8 wrote:Black HUmor works for me...

and an understanding that no matter what I do, no matter what interventions that I inittiate, or for that matter those that I don't, there are always going to be situations that are not nice.

Some people live, some people die, but I take consolation from the fact that I did my best.

Not to mention the fact that I do not really know most of the popel that I treat and I can claim an emotional separation from them.

Cheers for that Ambul8

munchkin1981 · Post by **munchkin1981** » Wed Nov 28, 2007 11:05 am

talking about about with friends and family helps or someone who has no clue on ur job they can be a listener
also having a pet to talk to helps they just look and give u slippery kisses

Chicky · Post by **Chicky** » Wed Nov 28, 2007 12:47 pm

Hey Mr G... as you know I deal with grief quite often in my day to day work too. It does not get any easier over time either. Personally, I deal with it by taking time out for me, going to the beach (where my dad's ashes lie) and have a cry to let it out. Not in all situations mind you, but more for those that touch me in some way or is someone who is known to me. Another way I deal with it is to talk about it with fellow acquaintances, and maybe having a drink or two while chatting.

Everyone deals with it differently. It's important to know that you can chat to people about it and that it doesn't have to be dealt with alone.

At the end of the day, remember this advice:

The chance of them living before you helped out were slim..... Any help offered is better than none.

Post by **gkoutlis** » Wed Nov 28, 2007 12:48 pm

Hi Munchy and Chicky,

Thanks for that - and that quote is so true - its interesting to get different points of view on these situations... certainly helps.

Post by **Zebedee** » Wed Nov 28, 2007 3:57 pm

APCO 25 Encrypted wrote:I see this ending with a padlock on the topic due to the nature of it.

Nope, I don't see a need to lock or delete this thread. While it deals with an "icky" topic, I'm sure that there are some people who will find something useful out of the advice that people are offering...

Of course, if people post something that's inappropriate, then it'll be removed - but that goes for anywhere on the site, not just here

Markmywords · Post by **Markmywords** » Wed Nov 28, 2007 5:35 pm

Black humor is good, talking to those that been there done that also helps, dont bottle it up though !!!

brad_88 · Post by **brad_88** » Wed Nov 28, 2007 5:41 pm

Ambul8 wrote: Not to mention the fact that I do not really know most of the popel that I treat and I can claim an emotional separation from them.

a few weeks ago or maybe a few months ago, some poor copper arrived at a crash scene and it was his teenage son that was dead

Nick · Post by **Nick** » Wed Nov 28, 2007 7:44 pm

I thought each agency had it's own peer support or chaplain