Off-Topic thread for the Off-Topic forum
Moderator: Bonez
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munchkin1981
- WARSUG top poster
- Posts: 1166
- Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2006 7:05 pm
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munchkin1981
- WARSUG top poster
- Posts: 1166
- Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2006 7:05 pm
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munchkin1981
- WARSUG top poster
- Posts: 1166
- Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2006 7:05 pm
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munchkin1981
- WARSUG top poster
- Posts: 1166
- Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2006 7:05 pm
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munchkin1981
- WARSUG top poster
- Posts: 1166
- Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2006 7:05 pm
NEW DRUGS FOR FEMALES
D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding
You of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they Moved out.
ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers
Unconscious for up to two days
P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed
Before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and
Prevents conception.
D U M B E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting
In enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and
The urge to flip off other drivers.
M E N I C I L L I N
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such
Lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. "
BUYAGRA
Injectible stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency,
Duration, and credit limit of spending spree.
J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday,
Anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.
A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager
To share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
N A G A M E N T
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same
Irritation level as nagging him.
Wife
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more a attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.
Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.
Men are like that, you know.
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alz heimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding
You of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they Moved out.
ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers
Unconscious for up to two days
P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed
Before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and
Prevents conception.
D U M B E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting
In enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and
The urge to flip off other drivers.
M E N I C I L L I N
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such
Lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. "
BUYAGRA
Injectible stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency,
Duration, and credit limit of spending spree.
J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday,
Anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.
A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager
To share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
N A G A M E N T
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same
Irritation level as nagging him.
Wife
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more a attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.
Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.
Men are like that, you know.
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alz heimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
It wasn't me honest.....it was the cat I'm sweet and innocent one 
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munchkin1981
- WARSUG top poster
- Posts: 1166
- Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2006 7:05 pm
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Zebedee
- Site Admin
- Posts: 3022
- Joined: Thu Feb 24, 2005 10:42 pm
- Amateur callsign: VK6DB
- Location: Perth
- Contact:
OK whinge time...
Bloody rotten stinkin' road workers
Took me an hour to drive from Midland to Perth this morning, all because I had an extended rest in Guildford. I dunno if it was scheduled roadworks, or if the road had partially collapsed because of the bad weather but for crying out loud, you don't put the "Roadworks Ahead" sign right next to the damn hole!
How about putting the sign a bit further up the road, like perhaps where the intersection is that you can take to avoid the area, instead of waiting until you're all funneled into a section of road with no opportunity to escape!
GAH!!!!
(At least this long wait was in work's time not my own, so I was being paid to sit there
)
Bloody rotten stinkin' road workers
Took me an hour to drive from Midland to Perth this morning, all because I had an extended rest in Guildford. I dunno if it was scheduled roadworks, or if the road had partially collapsed because of the bad weather but for crying out loud, you don't put the "Roadworks Ahead" sign right next to the damn hole!
How about putting the sign a bit further up the road, like perhaps where the intersection is that you can take to avoid the area, instead of waiting until you're all funneled into a section of road with no opportunity to escape!
GAH!!!!
(At least this long wait was in work's time not my own, so I was being paid to sit there
)Doug Bell (Zebedee) VK6DB
WARSUG Forum Administrator.
It is very dark.
You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
WARSUG Forum Administrator.
It is very dark.
You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
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auntys_eyes
- Moderator
- Posts: 1628
- Joined: Fri Jan 13, 2006 1:15 am
- Location: Greenmount
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Zebedee
- Site Admin
- Posts: 3022
- Joined: Thu Feb 24, 2005 10:42 pm
- Amateur callsign: VK6DB
- Location: Perth
- Contact:
I do live in the eastern suburbs but was doing an inter-office run at the time. So that isn't my normal way of going to work, but it is if I'm doing Perth <--> Midland.auntys_eyes wrote:Doug, do you live out Midland way??
Had I known it was going to be a long wait, I could have gone up Great Eastern Highway through Belmont and into Perth that way, but by the time it had sunk in that there was something not quite right with the traffic, it was too late
Doug Bell (Zebedee) VK6DB
WARSUG Forum Administrator.
It is very dark.
You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
WARSUG Forum Administrator.
It is very dark.
You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
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WPXZBP